holding grudges

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

We’ve all heard all the zen, right?  Don’t let difficult people live rent free in your head – holding anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die…  We’ve all heard these countless times. 

So.  Horses.

A little while ago, I met a pretty obnoxious colt.  He was four years old, big, strong and had walked over people most of his life.  This was now a problem, since at 16 hands and 600kg, he knew exactly how strong he was, and who was in charge.  Now, this is the horse who in the past I would have hopped onto and seen as a challenge.  Older, wiser, more held together by sticky tape and hope, I err on the side of caution.  I’d normally have refused to take on a horse like this, but his humans were desperate, and there was no one else around to help.  So, I put him onto long lines. 

I always try to go softly softly with horses.  When there is a problem, 99% of the time there is physical pain, often with bad shoeing, bad saddle fitting, or bad bitting.  A lame horse, one with back pain, or one who is scared, and meeting these horses head on is totally counter productive.  We have to find the root of the issue and remove it, and from there we can try to move forwards.  (Try – pain is the thing that horses remember extremely well, and once a horse has had a saddle that bites him and causes back pain, it’s incredibly difficult and long term to regain his total trust).

But, sometimes, when a horse has learnt to nap at the gate through practice, then figure out that, well, actually, they can.  Rule out pain.  Rule out discomfort from tack.  Rule out a lack of understanding, and your left with a practiced bad behaviour.  If a horse is calm and obliging at all times except going past the gate on the left rein, you know it’s probably not a physical issue. 

This little (little?) guy and I had a chat.  When he was sweetness and light, so was I.  When he stood up to wave at the crowds and tried to tap dance on my head, I wasn’t so nice either.  The second he was horizontal to the ground, all four feet in contact and ready to move forwards, not upwards, we were best buddies again. 

The problem with horses like this is not holding a grudge.  You can’t still be driving him forwards half a circle later when he has put the incident out of his mind, otherwise you really are poisoning the whole ride. 

Watch horses (or any animals for that matter).  If an animal misbehaves he gets into very big trouble, very fast.  You pinch my hay, you get bitten and probably kicked on your way out.  A puppy pushes her mother to far and is likely to get snapped at.  Even a young bull elephant, big as he is, will get ear flapping rage directed at him, driving him from the herd, but as soon as he has figured out that his behaviour was bad, all is forgotten.  Animals don’t accept bad behaviour, but they don’t hold grudges either.

There are few things as bad as seeing a rider, having made mistakes through their dressage test or show jumping round, leaving the arena sawing on the horse’s mouth or jabbing him with their spurs.  Horses live in the present moment – and, honestly, they could kill us all if they chose.  It’s their good will that allows us to ride them at all.  So, if you or your horse make a mistake, or your horse misbehaves in some way, such as napping at the gate, deal with the issue fairly and quickly, and then let it go – holding the frustration will just poison both of you…