When I’m sitting in front of my laptop, there are three absolutes – coffee to hand, warm cosy blankets or jerseys, and music.  These three things have to be set and ordered, in straight lines and predictable…  Add a cat into the mix and we’re even better.  And it’s the music buzzing along that has led me to a different train of thought today.

Yup, coffee, laptop, YouTube will be all go, looks familiar…

A few days ago, back to back, two of my favourite songs played – Chris Rea, “Tell me there’s a Heaven” and Christina Aguilera / A Great Big World, “Say Something”.  They’re awesome, but they are both jump off the roof material.

Tell me there’s a heaven
Tell me that it’s true
Tell me there’s a reason
Why I’m seeing what I do

Tell me there’s a heaven
Where all those people go
Tell me they’re all happy now
Papa tell me that it’s so

The world is full of suffering, and people and animals hurting and being hurt.   Chris Rea talks of empathy and compassion – that those who hurt are taking a journey to where they will grow their wings.

This little kitten crept straight into my heart. Did it help to have a friend in her last few hours? I like to think that it did.

Christina sings of loss –

Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

OK, so why would I start a blog like this?  Well, there is another song which really bothers me, but first…  Several people who I know have suffered loss recently, either friends, family, partners, horses, pets, and they are all going through a lot of emotions, which they should, and will, and although we can be empathetic and sympathetic, we can’t do it for them.  And at times like this, I’m always reminded by a vet who used to treat my horses.

Pippa Pony certainly taught us all a huge lesson in how much you need to invest in a pony who has given up on themselves. And yes, she didn’t have any ears…

Many years ago, I lost a horse, under pretty traumatic circumstances, and several days later when my vet and I were chatting, I said I was giving up horses, I’d had enough, and they were too important to have die on me.  What he said has stuck with me all these years.

Horses are not bicycles.  What you give them, they give back.  My horses all came to me as issues – they were rescues, the unwanted and the untrained or untrainable.  The horses who had been given up on, and who managed to find their way to me.  I only bought a couple of them, most were given, with their owners saying please just try…  And those horses generally came right, but not by being treated as bikes.  To “fix” a horse, you need to input a huge amount of resources – not just feed, money and training, but time, patience, understanding, empathy, respect and love.  Without those elements, the horse might regain his body weight, but he’s not going to become a happy, healthy, trusting horse.  If a horse is treated as a bicycle, that is a means to an ends, a way to hack out, or keep fit, or win medals, that is all he takes with him when he dies.  But, if a horse is your friend, when he dies, he takes a chunk of you with him.  You cannot invest a part of yourself in a horse and not expect to lose a part of yourself when he leaves.

Over the years, I’ve rescued many, many horses, and lost a lot of them over time, believe me, they all stay in a special place within you, and take a part of you away too.

So, what song is bothering me?  What made me think all this today, when I am indeed cuddling one of my favourite cats?

PINK is always good, right?  Uplifting, shouty, sweary, awesomeness.  So, after the slit your wrist songs, let’s pick up some Pink.  But, one of her songs bothers me, and I have just worked out why…  “Wild Hearts Can’t be Broken”.  And yes, she is talking about revolution, taking on a cause, about having an indomitable spirit.  But…  Wild hearts can and should be broken, or else you aren’t really taking anything on.  If your wild heart isn’t broken when you lose a horse, were you ever invested in him in the first place?   Maybe it’s just not as easy to write into a song, but how about, hearts can and should be broken, but wild ones will pick themselves up, dust themselves off and live to fight another day…

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/125-animals-die-dartmoor-roads-775756 – Yes, this is a distressing image – but it’s also what got me thinking here.  These are wild ponies, with wild hearts, and this pony’s heart is broken…

Please, please, let your horse break your heart!

One of the most beautiful songs, but one of the most depressing too – Chris Rea, Tell me there’s a Heaven

And another – I can have this on repeat all day, but only on certain days – Christina Aguilera and A Great Big World

Pink – Wild Hearts can’t be Broken – please don’t believe her!

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