Is Different Right or Wrong?

When ever I go to Bali, I do indulge in some massages…  Who wouldn’t, yes?  There is one lady who comes to the villa, and she is so unbelievably good.  Any little kinks and knots that are floating around, she can generally get them out pretty quick, and you leave her feeling amazing.  I’ve had a fair number of sessions with her, she knows me, I know her and her usual routine and it works.

This time, I booked a massage but this regular lady was busy, so sent another lady who she works with.  The new masseuse was a lovely lady too, and also did a great job, but was totally different.  Everything, from the scent of the oil she used, to where she started from, to the pressure she exerted and the types of movements was different.  Initially, I was a bit unsettled – I couldn’t anticipate the next move, and the routine was challenged.  We humans, even me who lives in a constant state of flux, like routine.  We go back to our favourite coffee shop, to the same table, the same waiter and order the same coffee, for a little comfort.  And yes, when I’m travelling, I do often seek out a Starbucks.  So, some things I stick to, because in Bali I eat Corn Fritters in Green Ginger and Deep Fried Oreos at On, and have a massage with Siti.

I have to go to Green Ginger whenever I’m in Bali for the Corn Fritter Fix…
I have to go to Green Ginger whenever I’m in Bali for the Corn Fritter Fix…


After my new massage, I stretched and moved, experimented, and yes, she had indeed loosened off travel wary muscles and ironed out computer working kinks.  Her technique was different, for sure, but was it wrong?  They both did a good job…  They both took an hour…  They both left me feeling loose and languid…  Who was right and who was wrong.  Neither, of course.  They both had the same goal in mind and achieved their outcome.

Same thing – most people know my little addiction to corn fritters – and I have them often, all over the world.  In each country, someone kindly cooks them for me.  And they are each different.  So, which is the wrong way, or the right way to prepare them?  Ummm…  I have my favorites, but are the others incorrect?

Another one that strikes me, how often do you always go somewhere, from point A to point B, on the same route?  I know I do.  Again, in Bali this trip, I was riding the bike back to the villa in the evening and a friend was riding his along behind me.  At a certain intersection I know he always turns left, I always turn right.  Our individual roads meet up again at a point further on.  He followed me right, and a block later rode along side, saying, I don’t like this route.  Same thing with when I catch taxis in Kuala Lumpur.  There are at least 5 different routes to one of the places I go, almost daily.  So, the traffic is about the same, the distance and condition of the road make a level playing field…  Who is right?

Of course, these are all ridiculous questions, there is not really a right and a wrong.  And so we get to the riding industry.  There are so many really amazing coaches out there, really talented people teaching truly amazing lessons.  I’ll often just sit in a yard and watch a lesson, thinking oh wow, I hadn’t thought of explaining it quite like that.  And, obviously there are also some, who you watch, thinking, hmm, I maybe wouldn’t have done that quite like that.  Who is right and who is wrong.  If your pupil and horse are happy, pain free, safe, enjoying their lesson and progressing, I think you’re doing a lot right.  I explain a circle by saying, think of a clock with 12, 3, 6, 9 o’clock.  A young instructor I worked with would always explain to her child pupils that balloons could be short and round, or long and skinny, and circles were the short round balloons.  I thought that was genius.  Which one of us explained a circle correctly.  Neither, and both.  If our pupils could ride a fairly round circle at the end of a session, we all won.

Is your circle as round as one of these balloons?
Is your circle as round as one of these balloons?

I know that I teach very differently to a lot of other coaches.  For some people it resonates, they enjoy their lessons, they learn.  Other people can’t get their head around what I’m talking about – its too different, its often too slow, and its not for them – fair enough, you were open minded enough to try something new, and hopefully you’ll find some one who speaks your language.  There are 7 billion of us here, we all speak different languages, live in different cultures, have a different way of learning, we cannot expect a one size fits all with any form of education.

Of course, there are some trainers who I do think are wrong.  A trainer who abuses the horse; who ridicules or undermines a pupil; a trainer who is rude, obnoxious or arrogant; a trainer who treats the horse as a bicycle, or is in such a hurry that they physically break horse down…  In my opinion, these trainers are dangerous, and yes, their methods are wrong.

So, you as the rider – what do you do about?  Use your freedom of choice.  Try out a few trainers.  Who “speaks” to you, in your language, that you think huh, yes.  We are all on a path to our end goal.  If you book a massage, you want to be relaxed and pain free.  If you are going to the beach, you want to get there without getting caught in a traffic jam.  And, if you are riding a horse, I am guessing we all want to be safe, in control and enjoy our ride be it through the village, round a course of jumps or in a dressage arena.  But, there are so many routes to get there, and the choice belongs to you, your ethics, your opinion.  I hope your choice is the right one for you!


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