Feedback loop

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

The yard where I kept my first horse, had a sign hanging up in the tack room, saying

“The hardest thing to see is what is in front of your eyes.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Maybe they were just warning you to look before yelling out that you couldn’t find your girth, but that quote has always stuck with me.  When you see something every day, you stop seeing it.  Which is why its really vital to ask the question – what is your feedback loop?

Can you see things from your horse’s point of view?
Can you see things from your horse’s point of view? Have you checked for feedback?

Recently I was at a saddle fitting CPD day, and one of the things that the coaches were saying was, the horses gave us feedback on that girth, or that saddle pad etc.  One of the participants said – huh?  How did your horse give you feedback?  They replied – the horse might put his ears back when he sees you approach with the saddle; he could threaten to bite you; dip his back away; bite at the saddle or girth; chew at his side after you have undone the girth etc.  All of these points are feedback from the horse.  If your horse stands quietly with a smile on his face while you potter around him, doesn’t react to having the saddle on, isn’t stressed about the girth, moves well under his saddle, you are getting pretty good, positive feedback.  The challenge comes in, where the saddle was fitting well, and over time it isn’t – maybe the horse has changed shape, or the saddle needs flocking, or the tree was damaged, but gradually, gently, over time, the horse started showing that he was a little less willing about tack.  He shuffled his feet away from you, he shook his head at you, he snapped his teeth at the girth.  It’s hard to see, because each day is just a little more than the day before.  The frog in a pot of boiling water.  Your saddle fitter comes out to check, sees the signs, and immediately says – your saddle isn’t fitting, your horse is giving you feedback.  Which, when it was happening slowly, right in front of your eyes, was the hardest thing to see.

Is this the only type of feedback needed?  No, we all, no matter how experienced or thoughtful, or logical, need feedback.

Just a short time ago, I was teaching a clinic, and at the end the hosts asked for my feedback.  Was I happy with the condition and training of the horses, the tack, the arena, the yard, the organising, was there anything I would like to tell them, or suggest improvements, or differences?  We discussed one or two very minor things, but overall, I thought everything was fabulous, and was very happy. And, by taking the time to ask for feedback, they were tackling small issues before they became big issues.  Perfect.

On thinking about that, I asked for their feedback about the lessons that I had taught.  I was happy with the way things had gone, and the pupils seemed happy, but just to check?  They said, hmm, maybe I should be making it clearer that the pupils should be praising their horses sooner, for any attempt of try on the horse’s part.  Interesting, I thought.  It’s so automatic for me to praise my horse when I am working with him that maybe I forget to tell others.  And since then, I’ve been much faster to say – yes, good, reward him.  It’s something simple – asking for feedback, listening, putting in motion, that improves everything.

Can you recognise this horse’s thoughts about something in his environment?
Can you recognise this horse’s thoughts about something in his environment? What’s his feedback?

A different yard, where I tried teaching briefly, didn’t work out, because they didn’t ask for, or accept, any form of feedback.  There was a horse who would come out lame, and still work in lessons.  The mare is lame, I’d say.  She ‘s always like that, they replied, it’s fine, she works anyway.  Your saddle doesn’t fit, I’d suggest?  It’s fine, we checked it, was the response…  It bounces on her back?  She’s happy, they’d say, we checked, it’s fine.  There was a lot going on in that yard, and their response was always – this is the way we do it, we’re in a nice routine, so this is the way that it will get done.  If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.  Some people are open to ideas, feedback, sounding boards, and some?  Well, some aren’t.

When was the last time you asked for feedback, from friends, trainers, peers, clients, pupils, coaches, saddle fitters, your horse?  And if they give feedback, are you ready to hear it?

Staying Home …

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

I’ve thought about this before, began writing it, stopped, started again, deleted it.  And at the moment, it’s fresh in my mind again.

I don’t actually live anywhere – most people know that.  No house, no rent, no furniture, no ties.  Which I think is perfect.

“Where do you live?”

“Well, now, this week, I live in Gili Trawangan, but last week I lived in Bali, the week before that, I lived in Singapore.”

Gili
Gili

“Where did you come from?”

“Well, do you mean which airport?  Or last week?  Or last long-haul flight?  Or???”

And, what’s really blown me away this past week, is the number of messages that I’ve had, saying, are you OK?  Please come home, your bed (and Cat) are waiting for you…  So many people saying that their home is my home, and that if I need somewhere to hold up, their house is open.  Which, I find incredibly humbling…  Someone asked me a while ago if I consider myself wealthy.  My reply was, if I look at my bank account, no.  But yes, I am incredibly wealthy, as this week has proved.

Another friend said, please get to England as fast as possible – you need to be with family and friends.  That’s a challenge, with my mom in South Africa and brothers in UK and Kenya, as well as cousins in every corner of the globe – family is not place, anymore than home is.  When people have been forced from their native country due to politics, and have scattered worldwide, “home” is no longer there, so, where is the new home?

And so, my reply to her – well, I am home.  I have ponies, and I have the sea.  In every country, wherever you go, you walk into a stable yard, and you could be anywhere.  Any yard, has the same routine – you count the number of pony legs and divide by four…  Is everyone alive and healthy, does everyone look happy and anticipating breakfast?  Is the grumpy mare putting her ears back, is the greedy one nickering for his feed?  Top up empty water buckets.  Take around the hay.  Mix breakfast feeds.  Open paddocks, unlock tack rooms, muck out stables, scrub out water buckets, empty wheelbarrows, put horses out…  In any yard, I can just get on and help with yard work, because horses are horses, no matter where they are.  And yards are yards, mucking out, sweeping, scrubbing feed bins, it’s all the same.  Same same but different, as they say in Asia.

Horses and stable yards
Horses and stable yards

Horses speak the same language, no matter what dialect the words come from.  They need the same things, they offer the same things.  You can move them backwards or forwards with a gesture or a glance, they co-operate with the human, the human co-operates with the pony.

In big yards, grooms are bantering, yelling light-hearted abuse.  In racing yards, the appies touch their stick to their cap – “mornin’ m’am”.  The sun comes up slowly, horses start moving out, hooves on concrete, horses calling, bits being crunched.  In competition yards, the first strings go to the horse walker, or out hacking with the grooms, the trainers head to arenas.  In riding schools, lessons begin, the words of the instructors always follow a familiar cadence, no matter the language.  Which country are you in?  It doesn’t matter, welcome home, welcome to the familiar, the feel of routine and peace.

If you think you’re lost, or far from home, the horses will welcome you and remind you that they create home, it’s not a place, it’s a feeling.  It’s the sounds, sights, smells of the yard waking up, ready for another day.

In normal time, my usual life before social distancing and lockdown, I’m generally at home, even though my passport will show that I’m in a far-off country.

In a couple of yards where I go often, I’ll be standing talking to a human, or watching a horse work, or teaching, and I’ll hear a whicker, or feel a bump in the small of my back, as one of my four legged friends sees that I’ve arrived and hauls their human over so they can say hi, or nickers until they call me over.  They replace being able to pop to a familiar coffee shop or visiting a childhood friend.  They hold the space, and always offer a “welcome home”.

My reading list …

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.
–John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I am a reader – I always have two, three, sometimes four books on the go.  There’ll be something light, easy fiction to waste time in an airport.  A horse textbook of some description, and something technical, on coaching, or physics, or anatomy, or philosophy or, or…  And so, when asked about a book, it’s always tricky – oh, where to start?

One of my first favourites, obviously, was Black Beauty, way back when.  I recently found an old copy of it, and re-read it, just to see.  It’s like sitting down to tea and conversation with an old friend.

We read it now, almost 150 years after it was written (1877) and are fairly horrified at some of the things in it.  Taking horses into war.  Carriage horses hauled up into a frame with bearing reins.  Horses working as pit ponies.  All things that most people now are not so happy with.

(Yes, bearing reins still exist, now, more politely called overcheck or side check, but hopefully (naïvely?) they aren’t over tightened as they were for poor old Black Beauty).

But, as I was reading, I wondered, if someone re-wrote Black Beauty now, what would people in 2170 be thinking?

Rolkur, or LDR jumps up.  Is that as bad as sending horses into war?  Cranking shut nosebands, the need for blood rules at competitions?  Western classes and races for 2-year olds?  Will riding horses at all be frowned upon – there is already a group of people who say that any work on horses is cruel and unnatural.   Will we even still keep horses as companions, or will the only horses be those who live wild?  Will there still be horses at all, the rate our green spaces are being consumed.  Or, will we still have them, but only living in high rise apartment type blocks.

If books can truly change the way we think, can we not take a few lessons from Anna Sewell.  What worries you now, that will be looked at in a few years to come, and have our descendants asking, just how did they get away with that???

So, what else is on my list?

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48757.The_Tao_of_Pooh?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=TsrpTSaD4C&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1567626.For_the_Good_of_the_Horse?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=Sdr8LpPLF1&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7038501-know-your-horse?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=3fTDTkXOrO&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/846854.Horses_Never_Lie?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=RoWfas1GNm&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/792161.War_Horse?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=GbEaDZiT5T&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5771014-the-talent-code?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=Gp6cSabxOA&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20564378-simple-pushes?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=UeIVcCzhGW&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7691665-richard-bandler-s-guide-to-trance-formation-make-your-life-great?from_search=true&qid=sXelZqiFM9&rank=3

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/103758.Zen_in_the_Art_of_Archery?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=1dSylMpiA9&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/31624484-the-horse-dancer?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=M9mTSWmAEI&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5660300-wild-pony?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=HAyGLumQd3&rank=2

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/84119.The_Horse_and_His_Boy?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=2gMxmDAsWa&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/133803.The_Good_Good_Pig?from_search=true&qid=A71afqssUp&rank=12

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24178.Charlotte_s_Web?from_search=true&qid=sggwsmMqYM&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/157993.The_Little_Prince?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=lmmP5r3OTF&rank=1

What’s on your list?

 

Christmas is coming!

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

So many people deal with their horses with an agenda – they are fitting them in between work, home, family, commitments, life, and the horse must be sandwiched into a couple of hours early morning or late evening.  Or, we make a bucket list – I want to…  ride on the beach, do a dressage test, learn half pass…  And our horse becomes the means to an end, the bicycle on which we put check points on the list.

Equine professionals are often running, between working horses, teaching lessons, running the yard, moving from location to location, and the horses become a job, part of the props.  I’ll admit that I have at times chivied a horse along, because I needed to work on something with the rider, so the horse must hurry up, come to the party and do the job.  Even then, I do try to spend a couple of minutes at the beginning and end where the horse can chat and get involved, but, realistically, we’re all on a timeline.  When I was still at school, I was told repeatedly by a lady who I used to ride for, not to go into horses as a career, because the minute something you love doing becomes a job, you lose a lot of the magic about it.  Horse mad kids who get office jobs, continue on as horse mad adults, but often those who work with horses become jaded, hurried, and lose the connection…

How divine is this mare? After a long ride, hanging out with her in the river, letting her just be a horse, was a reward for both of us…

A few weeks ago, I was hanging out in a barn of horses, mainly because I needed some photographs and it was taking a while.  As I stood leaning against a door, one of the horses came and hung out, putting her head over the door, leaning against me, then lipping through my pockets for polos, checking out my hair, and then just leaning against me when she figured that sweets weren’t forthcoming.  And, it’s pretty cool, just to be there, hanging out, and having a horse hover with you, choosing to be there.

I was thinking about it now, as we run up into Christmas.  We humans are even busier than usual, chasing our tails as “The Big Day” gets closer.  For a change, I’m not buying an animal presents this year, since I’m animal – less this Christmas, but so many people are out there spending a small fortune on their horses, buying a new saddle pad that the horse doesn’t care about, or extra oats that he doesn’t need.

The best thing that we can actually give our horses?  How about just giving them some time?  Horses love it when they have company – have you ever just sat under a tree in your horse’s paddock, and noticed how often they wander over and graze right by your feet?  And, this mare, who chose to stand right next to me, leaning on me, even when she knew that there weren’t any food treats involved.  They like people hanging out – if the people are bringing the right energy or intention with them.  If you’re hanging out to put another check on your list, you’ll probably find them wandering off in the opposite direction….  A lot more is achieved when you’re not trying to achieve anything…

This was taken, unbeknown to me, during a huge thunderstorm. I was taking shelter in the stable yard, sitting on the front of this horse’s box when he ambled over to hang out and watch the rain together…

Recently there’s been a rash of research published – Horses can read emotions…  Horses are better than Prozac…  Horses help recovering PTSD soldiers.  Horses can read facial expressions…  True horse people say – yes?  Obviously?  Surely, they didn’t need thousands of dollars of research budget to find that out?  Horses, when we spend quality time with them, make us feel better, turn us into better humans.  They teach a lot more about empathy and humanity than most humans.

And now, at Christmas, being still is the gift that your horse offers you.  Much as there may be a gift under your tree that says it’s from your horse, chances are he didn’t trot down the high street to buy it…  But, given the chance he’ll give you the best gift that money can’t buy – time, peace, pause, a brief respite from the hustle and bustle of shopping.  Go out to your paddock or barn, and sit or stand quietly, lean on the door or fence, and just hang out.  Let your horse be with you, let him offer you peace and companionship, which is surely the point of Christmas…

Happy Christmas Everyone!

Passion

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

I had a job, a few years ago.  Yes, an actual job, and I lived in one country.  It wasn’t a “real” job – I was still playing with ponies, but it was a job, with a boss and working hours, and a contract and everything.  A real one.  (And, payday, which is always a plus!)

I didn’t like my job.  I didn’t like having to clock in and out, having to answer to a boss, and write SOP and DOP, and staff reports and horse usage and sustainability analysis.  I didn’t like to have to answer ridiculous emails from the more ridiculous parents, attend HR meetings and I really didn’t like having to apply for a day off.  And so, plugging in my 9 hours a day was tough, because it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing.

(Which is partly why, now, I don’t have a job…)

I’ve just spent two months in London, enjoying the summer, and while I was there, I was lucky enough to go to two concerts.  First Bon Jovi, for – what – about the 6th time?  7th maybe?  This was long planned and anticipated.  The second was hugely accidental – wandering into a Robbie Williams summer festival concert in Hyde Park.

Mr Robbie.

There I was – planning to have a little picnic sandwich dinner with my book in the park, the night before a big workshop.  Ambled through the park, largely to find a statue that I had long meant to see and accidentally stumbled upon an Event.  What is the event?  Black Eyed Peas and Robbie Williams.  Oooh.  Are there tickets?  A couple, yes.  Off we go, into a sparkly summer, hippie festival, wearing my sensible shoes, oldest layers, carrying my handbag, book and sandwich, surrounded by drunken, all day revelers with much glitter, bling and fairy wings.  Leaving was interesting – marched up to the police horse on duty at the gate….

I’m looking for my hotel.

Yes?

Am not sure of the address….

Oh, which hotel?

Ummm, not sure I remember….

Uh, where was it?

Within walking distance…

Uhh, which way?

Near a statue?  (Do you know how many statues there are in London?)

Do you not have the booking on your phone?

Yes, well, my phone has gone flat – you see I didn’t mean to be here and, well…  (The horse enjoyed the itchy scratchy time, while stood there on duty).

But, I’m getting sidetracked.  You watch these bands with amazing longevity, Jon, Robbie, Axel Rose a couple of years back.  They walk on stage and BAM.  They may have aged, greyed and wrinkled, but you see the passion flowing through them.  Their eyes sparkle, they feed off the crowd, and adrenaline hits.  Suddenly, they are 20 again, you see them light up and that passion, that joy – that is why they have been around, successful for 20+ years.  I love to see it – the years fall off them and they’re just awesome.

It’s not just rock stars either.  Something I love doing is sitting chatting to people, and you meander your way into finding out what they are passionate about, and they become animated.  Their eyes are bright, they breathe deeper, sitter straighter, and they’re off, explaining, engrossed.

“Physical Energy” at Kensington Gardens. By George Frederic Watts.
So many things attract me to this – he saw it as “that restless
physical impulse to seek the still unachieved in the domain of
material things”.  So much my journey. “Physical Energy” – the name,
dynamic, moving, shifting. And, there are four casts of it – one in
London, one in South Africa, one in Harare (my home town) and one in
Surrey. Too many coincidences for me not to seek it out. It’s a very
impressive, massive, piece of art.

Now, I “work” for myself.  (Ya, I still don’t work) and I often do 10 or 11 hour days.  I go for a couple of months without a day off.  I run, from arena to taxi, to airport, to taxi to arena, and here I sit at 21.34 writing this, before another 5.30am start.  But, it’s not a drag now.  I don’t resent the boss.  Because, when I had a job, I lost the passion.  9 hour days for a paycheck is brutal.  11 hour days for play and passion are a privilege.

They say that horses are not a job but a lifestyle.  And it’s true.  You can’t clock out on a horse with colic or have a lie in on a day off if he’s waiting for his breakfast.  It took reminding from my mates Jon and Robbie to remember what passion and drive look like, but when you find it again – wind up the clockwork mouse and off you go.

So, are you settling, compromising, making do, paycheck to paycheck, or are you passionate about what you do?  Are you playing with ponies, or tied to a lead weight?  One of my favourite sayings – “You are not a tree, if you don’t like the situation you’re in, leaf…..”

 

Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

When I’m sitting in front of my laptop, there are three absolutes – coffee to hand, warm cosy blankets or jerseys, and music.  These three things have to be set and ordered, in straight lines and predictable…  Add a cat into the mix and we’re even better.  And it’s the music buzzing along that has led me to a different train of thought today.

Yup, coffee, laptop, YouTube will be all go, looks familiar…

A few days ago, back to back, two of my favourite songs played – Chris Rea, “Tell me there’s a Heaven” and Christina Aguilera / A Great Big World, “Say Something”.  They’re awesome, but they are both jump off the roof material.

Tell me there’s a heaven
Tell me that it’s true
Tell me there’s a reason
Why I’m seeing what I do

Tell me there’s a heaven
Where all those people go
Tell me they’re all happy now
Papa tell me that it’s so

The world is full of suffering, and people and animals hurting and being hurt.   Chris Rea talks of empathy and compassion – that those who hurt are taking a journey to where they will grow their wings.

This little kitten crept straight into my heart. Did it help to have a friend in her last few hours? I like to think that it did.

Christina sings of loss –

Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

OK, so why would I start a blog like this?  Well, there is another song which really bothers me, but first…  Several people who I know have suffered loss recently, either friends, family, partners, horses, pets, and they are all going through a lot of emotions, which they should, and will, and although we can be empathetic and sympathetic, we can’t do it for them.  And at times like this, I’m always reminded by a vet who used to treat my horses.

Pippa Pony certainly taught us all a huge lesson in how much you need to invest in a pony who has given up on themselves. And yes, she didn’t have any ears…

Many years ago, I lost a horse, under pretty traumatic circumstances, and several days later when my vet and I were chatting, I said I was giving up horses, I’d had enough, and they were too important to have die on me.  What he said has stuck with me all these years.

Horses are not bicycles.  What you give them, they give back.  My horses all came to me as issues – they were rescues, the unwanted and the untrained or untrainable.  The horses who had been given up on, and who managed to find their way to me.  I only bought a couple of them, most were given, with their owners saying please just try…  And those horses generally came right, but not by being treated as bikes.  To “fix” a horse, you need to input a huge amount of resources – not just feed, money and training, but time, patience, understanding, empathy, respect and love.  Without those elements, the horse might regain his body weight, but he’s not going to become a happy, healthy, trusting horse.  If a horse is treated as a bicycle, that is a means to an ends, a way to hack out, or keep fit, or win medals, that is all he takes with him when he dies.  But, if a horse is your friend, when he dies, he takes a chunk of you with him.  You cannot invest a part of yourself in a horse and not expect to lose a part of yourself when he leaves.

Over the years, I’ve rescued many, many horses, and lost a lot of them over time, believe me, they all stay in a special place within you, and take a part of you away too.

So, what song is bothering me?  What made me think all this today, when I am indeed cuddling one of my favourite cats?

PINK is always good, right?  Uplifting, shouty, sweary, awesomeness.  So, after the slit your wrist songs, let’s pick up some Pink.  But, one of her songs bothers me, and I have just worked out why…  “Wild Hearts Can’t be Broken”.  And yes, she is talking about revolution, taking on a cause, about having an indomitable spirit.  But…  Wild hearts can and should be broken, or else you aren’t really taking anything on.  If your wild heart isn’t broken when you lose a horse, were you ever invested in him in the first place?   Maybe it’s just not as easy to write into a song, but how about, hearts can and should be broken, but wild ones will pick themselves up, dust themselves off and live to fight another day…

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/125-animals-die-dartmoor-roads-775756 – Yes, this is a distressing image – but it’s also what got me thinking here.  These are wild ponies, with wild hearts, and this pony’s heart is broken…

Please, please, let your horse break your heart!

One of the most beautiful songs, but one of the most depressing too – Chris Rea, Tell me there’s a Heaven

And another – I can have this on repeat all day, but only on certain days – Christina Aguilera and A Great Big World

Pink – Wild Hearts can’t be Broken – please don’t believe her!

How big is your why?

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

How big is your why?

Slightly odd question, isn’t it?  Someone asked me that recently, when I told them of a plan that is ticking over in the back of my mind.  How big is your why?  Huh?

She explained – let’s say, you are thinking “I want to get fit”.  How big is your why?  Because, next month we are going for a hike in the mountains, and I want to be able to keep up.  Is that a good enough why?  No.  For one, you’re not really invested in it, for two, in a month’s time, after your hike, where is that inspiration going to take you?  Ok, how about, because at the end of the year I’m going to climb Kilimanjaro, and if I’m not fit enough, it’s going to kick my butt.  Again, that’s better, but is it enough?  If you’re anything like me, no, it’s not big enough.  I did this a couple of years ago – I’m going to get fit to climb Kili, and I did….  Ummm….  Zero training.  I just plodded up that hill.  So, my why wasn’t big enough to get me out there to do my fitness training.  I’m going to get fit so I can play soccer with my kids instead of watching from the side-line?  Yes, that could do it.  I’m going to fit to have more energy to run my business and have time family time.  Yup, that could be it too.

Made it up the little hill, but how much fitness work had I done? Well, not much…
Made it up the little hill, but how much fitness work had I done? Well, not much…

A long, long time ago – well over 20 years – I decided that I wasn’t eating meat.  Now, my three loves in life were steak, Bovril and an African delicacy called Biltong – a dried meat similar to beef jerky.  When I said I was going vegetarian, everyone who knew me laughed, thinking oh yes, this’ll last a week.  And, it has lasted, coming up for 30 years.  Because?  I had an enormous WHY.  I wasn’t going to eat my friends anymore.  Cut and dried.  It was absolutely no effort to stop, and I’ve never been tempted back.  My WHY was more than enough.  For the past 5 years or so, I’ve debated going full on vegan, but….  I just love cheese and chocolate.  Pizza?  How do you say no?  About 3 years ago, I was coughing a cough that just wouldn’t leave.  Doctor after doctor told me that I could try this medicine or that, but nothing worked.  Finally, after three separate people told me that it was dairy, I had a go, and removed all dairy from my diet for a month.  Lo and behold, after about 4 days, I stopped coughing.  Magic.  After the month, I started to reintroduce dairy, and the one thing that would make me cough was – milk in my coffee.  That why was big enough – I haven’t had milk in tea or coffee since then, and magically, I don’t cough.  But I also figured out that I could eat cheese and chocolate….  They both make my throat itch, but I can cope with that….

Mmmmm, the black coffee is a go, but can I give up the cake to go with it?
Mmmmm, the black coffee is a go, but can I give up the cake to go with it?

As a WHY, it isn’t big enough.  Recently, I was staying in an area where there are lots, lot, lots of dairies and dairy cows.  They were well enough looked after, but the sight of them wearing computerised bracelets to tell the farmers of their number, yield and vital statistics was depressing.  And watching the new mum’s bellow for their babies as they were taken away….  I think I may have found a big enough WHY to stop me eating dairy.

A while ago, I went to teach a new client, and as I walked in, this rider said to me – “yes, I know, I’m overweight”.  Well OK, let’s get on with it, we went about our lesson.  He did battle – his joints are under pressure; the doctor is threatening knee surgery and the risk of diabetes.  He’s not fit, and although his very large and up to weight hunter type horse can carry him, it would make both of their lives easier if he lost the weight.  I didn’t mention it though.  Afterwards, his wife, who was watching, commented that I hadn’t said anything about his weight.  I replied, he knows about his weight.  The doctor has told him.  His regular riding instructor has told him.  You have told him.  My telling him wasn’t going to be a big enough WHY.  When he decides, when the weight gets to him and a WHY appears on his radar, he’ll choose to lose the weight and it’ll happen relatively easily.  But until then?  Not happening.

You want to improve your riding?  Why?  To win a ribbon at a show?  Not enough.  Because your yard suggested you came for a lesson?  Not enough.  Because your horse has the beginnings of kissing spines, and your vet has said that if you don’t get organised and ride in balance, you’ll end up putting your horse down?  Yes, that could be a good enough why.

You want to lose weight?  Why?  To feel healthier?  No.  Because your family has booked an epic riding safari and their weight limit is 80kg…  Yup, that could be the why.

No one is going to be able to teach you a skill, or help you quit something, or get you into a different mindset unless you decide to go there.  And, why do you want to go there?  Well, you need to figure out your own WHY…

Happy Valentine’s Day

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

It’s Valentines – which made me think for a moment…  I don’t do the whole “significant other” …  I love my independence and the ability to up and off at a moment’s notice, and having to discuss with a partner about what, where and how is really not my thing.  I even resist going on holidays with a friend, since there is always the, “Well, where would you like to go, and what would you like to eat?” conversation.  But I do have a whole team of “matchmakers” in my life, without whom, what I do would be impossible…

They even ply me with chocolates…
They even ply me with chocolates…

In every city that I go, I have a wonderful lady (I really don’t know why they are all ladies – come on guys, catch up), who organises my life.  They chat to venue owners, they contact riders, they cajole people who they think would be interested in booking a strange lesson with an unknown person, and they “matchmake” all my meetings and lessons.  I believe there have been literal blood, sweat and tears involved…

Sometimes, they get it wrong – oh my, yes.  They’ll arrange a lesson with someone who’s mindset and ethics is a mile off mine, hoping that we may have a meeting of ideas, but the rider is really not ready to discuss a new way of thinking, and it’s that really awkward blind date – especially with the pony being the third wheel and trying to side of the more friendly, relaxed way of working.  But generally, my matchmakers are right on the money.  Once they convince a rider to have one lesson, we usually have a lot more.

Once they are set up with those who all are interested, my amazing helpers then get into hyper organised mode, and fill my dance card…  It’s really no use me trying from the other side of the globe – people contacting me, saying can I have a lesson at this time in venue A, when someone else is an hour later at venue B, and I don’t have a clue where anything is, or the politics of who is welcome to who’s yard….  So, by the time I arrive, there is a colour coded, beautifully efficient list of names, times, locations, and all I have to do is pitch up.  It’s just MAGIC!

And, my wonderful helpers don’t even stop there!  Many welcome me into their homes, they cook vegetarian meals (even if it’s out of their norm), they ply me with chocolate, coffee and wine, they don’t complain about how I am so not a morning person, they fetch and carry, they share their cats, and they’re just awesome.

I get to share their cats!
I get to share their cats!

One of these special people was quizzing me for the dates I’m looking at for their area – I told her some dates, and, the very next day, she tells me that there are over 90 lessons booked – talk about speed dating!

Last week, one amazing organiser, organised a massage, lunch, chocolate, and tourism on the free day – this week, my current spectacular person is sourcing cough sweets, painkillers and “knock it on the head” flu meds.  You see, my life is like Valentines every day!

If you are the kind of person who likes having a “significant other human” in your life – Happy Valentines.  If your S.O., is four legged – well done you, even happier days.  And, if you’re like me – buy yourself that chocolate, it’s all about treating your self right!  Oh, and please buy a carrot for your pony!

Hang on let me ask my app….

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

I must have an amazing body…  If I haven’t drunk enough water, I feel dehydrated and head achy.  If I have drunk enough, I feel clear and brighter.  If I haven’t eaten enough, I feel hungry, and if I’ve eaten too much, I feel lazy and over full.  If I had a good night sleep, I wake up feeling refreshed and ready for action, and if I slept badly, I struggle to get out of bed and have a slower start.  AND, if I exercise, I sleep better, feel better, and get fitter.  Isn’t that incredible?  Isn’t that such a spectacular thing?  I should thank my body, clearly it’s a bit of a rarity, since so many people seem to need a Fitbit to tell them all of that amazing information. 

Do you know, in USA, they have a thing called Nature deficit disorder.  They say it’s affecting millions of people, mainly kids.  Some schools actually have bootcamp to fix it – they put a class load of kids on a school bus, remove their Fitbit, smart watches, phones, earphones, laptops, and take them out to the wilderness.  Once there, they have them walk across grass, stand in streams, lie on a sunbaked rock, and actually feel, smell, taste, see and hear.  Listen to the birds.  Feel the rough ground.  Taste the clean water.  Smell the wild flowers.  Look at the view.  I think it’s incredibly sad that kids need to be taught to put their technology down and see what a running river looks like.  And imagine the shock – you can walk across a field without posting on social media how many steps your Fitbit said you took.  Shocking – people walk without recording it.  Imagine that.

Alexa – is this a good view? Should I feel happy? If I walk across the valley, how many steps will I log? Will I get to my 10,000 for the day?
Alexa – is this a good view? Should I feel happy? If I walk across the valley, how many steps will I log? Will I get to my 10,000 for the day?

And here is another contradiction – your Fitbit tells you to get up and walk, that you’ve been sitting still for too long.  But…  Your smart home Alexa can turn on the lights and the TV without you having to stand up and walk to the light switch, so allowing you to sit still for longer.  Because heaven help those poor people, who have to stand up and walk to the light switch… 

I break technology – many people who know me know that I am a “slider” – things break.  If I wear watches, they stop and run backwards.  Clocks stop working, anything that is charging when I try to use it either turns off or gives shocks.  Laptops and phones don’t last long, and printers – don’t even go there.  And, it’s something I am incredibly grateful for.  Even if I could wear a Fitbit or have an Alexa, I wouldn’t even if you paid me.  I know many people are excited by technology and the developments, but really, I think the more developments there are, the more disconnected humans become and the less we trust our brains, our bodies, our instincts. 

 

https://www.stufftoblowyourmind.com/podcasts/watch-stoppers.htm

I have a phone, a laptop, a kindle and an ipod.  And that is about it.  And, that is the way it’s staying.

Does this affect the horse industry?  Yes.  With people needing to be told if they had a bad night’s sleep, they are becoming more and more disconnected from their bodies.  You ask some one to feel their body or their horse’s movement and they look blankly at you as if you are asking them to fly to the moon.  And no, they can’t consult their computer about whether or not their horse is moving well.  If you cannot trust yourself to know if you had walked far enough today, how are you going to instinctively know if your horse is active enough?  We need to dump our dependency on the technology, get back to be fully functioning human beings and start using our inbuilt apps – the noticing ones that we were actually born with…    

Wealth

Posted on by Ashleigh Sanderson

OK, I’m going to go on a rant.  Apologies in advance.  People complain about horses being used for work.  Real, hard work, where they are having to earn a living for their owners.  This year, an awful lot of people have told me that they are really very poor.  They can’t afford to replace their car, or buy a new laptop, or join one of our yoga retreats.  They have a roof over their head, they have food in their belly, they have a phone and / or a computer, they have clothes on their back, they have a bank account, even if it is empty, or almost so.  Just this – food, a bed, dry clothes to change into, puts you in the world’s wealthiest 8%.  Think about that – the number of people sleeping on the street, or without means to buy dinner tonight.  And yet, they can’t see the fact that many people would trade places with them in an instant.   

Travel is, in my opinion, the ultimate eye opener.  When you see actual poverty, you start to change how you see things.  I will always remember going to Cambodia and visiting the boat people there.  We were told that many of them earn less that US$500 a year.  They have no electricity, they have no running water, no sanitation.  Maybe one change of clothes, so they can wash and wear.  And, they wash those clothes in the river where they also fish farm, commute between boats, bath, and drink.  And all of this, with me sitting there with a US$500 camera around my neck.  Still think you’re poor? 

Think about this…

  • This morning, if you woke up healthy, then you are happier than the 1 million people that will not survive next week.
  • If you never suffered a war, the loneliness of the jail cell, the agony of torture, or hunger, you are happier than 500 million people in the world.
  • If you can enter into a church (mosque) without fear of jail or death, you are happier than 3 million people in the world.
  • If there is a food in your fridge, you have shoes and clothes, you have bed and a roof, you are richer then 75% of the people in the world.
  • If you have a bank account, money in your wallet and some coins in the money-box, you belong to the 8% of the people on the world, who are well-to-do.

In many of these cases, the people involved are still able to be very happy – they are often more connected to their family, their home, their culture / beliefs / roots, because they are not distracted by smart phone notifications beeping away, endless adverts to buy bigger and better, and the pressure to buy branded shoes.  And, there is generally a real pride in what they have and what they do. 

While in Kenya, two things stuck me, yet again.  The first was pride.  Many of the local Kenyan’s don’t have running water in their houses.  Or electricity.  Most don’t have access to cars and have to leave their homes at silly o’clock in the morning to stand in long queues at dangerous emergency taxi stands, before travelling many miles, working long hours and repeating this at night, for low pay.  They leave in the dark, return in the dark, and yet they are turned out immaculately.  Just how do you get your white work / school shirt gleaming white, your whole outfit beautifully and crisply ironed and your shoes gleaming, in the dark without running water or power?  I couldn’t…  And yet, they are so proud of their uniforms, what they have and what they do for a job.  The other thing that stuck me, was just how poor the country is, and how many men are pulling carts around themselves, never mind using a horse, just to earn a few shillings for their family. 

And yet, people still complain about how poor people expect their horses to work.  If you had to put food on your table, and could get some money by working with a horse, wouldn’t you do it?  And, if you had to choose between paying your child’s school fees and buying a new set of brushing boot for your narrow pony who was whacking his fetlocks, what would you choose? 

The entire world was born on a horse’s back.  We wouldn’t have the development that we do now, if horses hadn’t helped us along the way.  The first world counties benefitted all along, from the horses who worked – and look at how many we killed in war?  How can we, the first world, say that horses cannot be used in the developing world?  We do need to help, absolutely.  Just because a horse is a working animal doesn’t in any way mean he should suffer or be denied access to feed, water, rest, companionship, farriers, vet care and well fitted harness, but should we try to prevent them doing a reasonable amount of work.  No. 

Money buys choices.  What shall I have for dinner?  If I have money in my pocket, I can choose.  Do I give my horse tomorrow off?  If I’m not relying on his earnings, I have the choice.  Should I buy a new bridle for my horse?  If I have the cash, I can go and get one. 

What do you think?  How wealthy are you, and what are you doing to help the 92% of the world who have less than you?