And breathe

And breathe....

And breathe

And breathe....
And breathe….

Some of you know all about my ridiculous life, others have a vague idea, and others are only just hearing about who I am and what I do – I live a very nomadic life, whizzing around the world and playing with ponies, in between writing blogs, articles and building up a library of online lessons.  In fact, my phone’s app has just told me that I have clocked up almost half a million miles since 2015.  Scary…  One of the most common things I hear is – you have an awesome life, one long holiday…  Now, I fully agree with the first part of that statement – I have an awesome life.  The second part…  Um, no.  Life is not one long holiday…

So, June and July were hectic, running around Asia.  August was insane, bouncing around through South Africa.  And September was Italy and some training for me at Mary Wanless’s base in the Cotswolds.  I must admit, I was incredibly tired, grumpy and stressed.  My to do list was growing longer by the day, and seemed an insurmountable peak.  Whenever I had a free half hour, I would look at my list, decide that all the jobs would take days, not worth even starting, and play on Facebook instead.  It really was dreadful, and the more days that passed, the more unanswered emails there were, the closer to needing to book flights, the more deadlines loomed, the less I wanted to do, because the more stressed I was becoming about being so far behind and missing so many deadlines.

I posted HELP on Facebook (you know, Facebook really is a procrastinators paradise – so much to do, so many distractions), and got lots of great advice – write a list; do the smallest job first; download this software; hire a PA.  And, I did…  Nothing.  Nada.  Not a thing.  Switched to watching TED talks about finding motivation and avoiding procrastination…  And, still did nothing.

Finally, I arrive here in Sunny Singapore, where I now sit, and due to holidays, people coming, people going, the loss of some horses etc etc, I have a whole heap less lessons that usual, and you know what?  My sanity (well, my version of it…  Don’t comment please), has been restored.  A whole lot of sleep helped.  A few 12-hour nights of total utter dead to the world-ness.  And, then, several whole afternoons in front of my laptop.  I had the time to actually take on a task, work through it and get it done.  I haven’t got many things crossed off my list, because most things on there will require months and many, many hours, but the elephant I have been trying to shift up the hill has lightened slightly, he might not be heading up the hill, but at least he isn’t sliding back down it.

I had a close friend who always said to me, if three different people come up to you and say the same thing, it is the universe trying to send you a message.  Well, a friend and pupil came up to me on arrival in Singapore, gave me a big hug and said, you really look like you need a rest – and she was the sixth person in the last month to say something along the lines of – you need a rest, when is there YOU time, you gonna get sick soon etc.  And you know what?  It was the universe taking out a big hammer.  By having less lessons booked, it removed a huge amount of time issues, gave me time to breathe, and now that I have started getting things done, they are flowing along beautifully.  This week has been incredibly productive, and I have started to feel human again.  I have a hectic time again between now and Christmas, when I will really be taking a holiday, but this 10 days of respite has really stopped me grinding to a halt.

Make time to relax and unwind.

Which leads me to think about riders and horse owners.  How often do riders say, I HAVE to get to ride my horse – he waits for his turn to work…  You know what.  He doesn’t.  He doesn’t aspire to jump higher, practice his half pass or get to the next Olympics.  If he has access to paddocks, can self-exercise and bumble around, has friends, food, water and shelter, he is perfectly happy to have some down time while you have your down time.  My own horses often seemed to come back better after a rest, having had a chance to learn to horse again, rather than be a sporting partner.  If he lives in a stable and has no access to turn out, then yes, you need to do something with him, but maybe hack out, turn out into an area if there are no paddocks, loose lunge, do some liberty work, something or anything that is different.

For the rider too, take some time out.  Try out a new sport or hobby.  Go for a walk, swim, hit the gym, lie on the couch with a book or go off to a tropical island for a week.  Its easy to get bogged down in life, but you know what?  Sometimes we need to stop, or else our body will break and stop us for longer!!!  What are you going to do for your break?








Motivation – hmmm, at times I hate that word.

When someone asks me, what is your skill, or talent, what are you best at doing? Procrastination – finding the importance in studying people’s food photos on Facebook, studying the back of my own eyelids, going for a walk, washing my hair, anything that removes me from what I should be doing. Give me a full day of lessons, I am on it, tackling each with the same enthusiasm as the first, but give me a tax return, or reports to write – ooooh look, a butterfly….

(My internet lady, who puts all that I write into the website, will know, I have chosen to write this, rather than tackle the jobs that she has given me instead…. The lessor of two evils!) So, why am I writing this now? Well, there is an interesting pattern that I noticed a while ago, and it is still holding true, although I am not consciously pushing it.

When I am in England, I am very lucky to stay in a house belonging to a lovely lady, who is famous in the horse industry. She has been a mentor to me for some time, and other than being a ground-breaking horse person, she is always amazing me with how dedicated she is. She has written many books, and has the discipline to shut herself in her office, and get it done, while I am taking photos of her cat to post on Instagram, and watching the hot air balloons float past the window…. Are we seeing a difference here?! When she is away, I kidnap her office, park myself in her chair, set my laptop up on her desk – and do you know, I get more done there, in that week in her office than in the entire year anywhere else.

Now, as I sit in Singapore, I again stay with another amazing lady, this one not having to do with horses, but a high flyer in the corporate world, and having the motivation to work mostly from home – ya, no, that really wouldn’t work for me now, would it – ohh, another butterfly. And again, she travels a lot for work, and when she is away, I pinch her spot with a desk, set up my laptop in front of her office chair. The UK desk has a wonderful view of paddocks with horses, and rolling English countryside, while this desk has a view of a white wall, but in principle, they work the same.

Now, in both places, I say that I am pinching (or piggy-backing) on their work ethic, their mojo, the magic spell that they cast over their desks and offices allows me to – ohh, butterfly – sorry, allows me to concentrate and get on with the job. I think though, there are two key factors, and this is what we need to address for your riding practice too…

I am comfortable. In a lot of places, I balance my laptop on my knees, while sitting on the floor, my bed, or a sandy beach. Or I lie on the floor to write. Or lean against the counter in a coffee shop. My back aches, I have to fidget. Foot goes to sleep with the odd angle, so I get up. The sun is shining in my eyes, so I squint. Discomfort and focus are not friends. Both of these desks are set up for busy, motivated people who need to be able to sit down and crack on. Take this to your horse – your stirrups have stretched and you just can’t get them even. Oooh, this underwear really doesn’t work (while on the subject, ladies, sports bras please – you need to be comfortable). The arena hasn’t been levelled and has a rough spot that keeps grabbing your attention. There is STILL a chunk of mud in your horse’s mane, just behind his ears. And for your horse? This browband pinches my ears, but I get in trouble when I shake my head. My saddle bounces on my poor back. These bandages are too loose and are slipping around like carpet slippers. The ground is slippery and I don’t feel safe. Distractions at every turn.

The other thing though, is mental. I go into these two offices knowing that I will sit and write. My mind set is correct. I come in, leaving my phone behind. I turn the internet off, sit with a purpose and get the job done. Both these ladies use a timer to get up and move every hour, I tend to let the empty coffee cup tell me when it is time to walk to the kitchen, but my intention is set – I know I will be comfortable, with no distractions, so set my brain, body, mindset, intention, focus, whatever you choose to call it, to GO, and I work.

Again, let’s move this to your horse and arena. You have a lesson booked, or a test to practice for the upcoming show. So, you go into the arena, intending to practice you have your game ready hat on, leave your phone at the stables, choose a spot away from your friends, you focus, your horse think oh yeah, she means business and he comes to the focus party too. It is a mindset – you have decided what needs doing, so you get it done.

If you tried to school your horse, and your mind wasn’t really on it. Your boot was rubbing your ankle, and that pair of knickers really didn’t work. Your horse’s boot slipped so you had to get off to fix it. And, you had your phone in your pocket, and when it rang, you answered it and had an argument with you significant other. The schooling session went to pot, you got demotivated, and went for a hack around the block instead. A few days later, you look – right to the arena, or left to the forest trail? Ah, the arena was awful, lets go play in the forest. This pattern happens for two weeks, you go back to the arena. Your horse’s boot is still slipping. AND now he is stiff, having done no suppling work for two weeks. Give up, go to the beach. You see how easy it is to lose that mojo?

The opposite, you are comfortable in your clothes (a regular bra, with a sports bra over the top works great, ladies). Your horse is comfortable in his tack – you bought him a longer browband, had the saddler fit a saddle and ditched the bandages. You schooled away from your friends and phone, had an awesome ride, and are feeling inspired to keep this upward trend happening.

It isn’t the magic desk, or the view. Its comfort and mindset. What is interrupting your schooling? What is stopping your progress? Is it out of your control? (like a rainy spell, where the arenas flood), or in your control (get that sports bra). Do you need help (give me a call, I travel to you!!!), or do you just need to focus? Are you both comfortable? Do you have goal to work for?

Right then, I am off to file my tax return – oooh look, my coffee cup is empty….